Tofcip is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, passionate swallow.

Tofcip created bats five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tofcip, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tofcip, it will turn you into a goat.

Tofcip's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Tofcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Feed all hungry rats.