Catrillweg is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, all-knowing fairy.

Catrillweg created light nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Catrillweg, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Catrillweg, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Catrillweg's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Catrillweg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never eat tomatoes.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not trade with those who eat bread.