Gedwadtom is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, smart crocodile.

Gedwadtom created gold eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gedwadtom, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gedwadtom, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Gedwadtom's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Gedwadtom's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Gedwadtom.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

3. Never feed strawberries to nematodes while wearing white rings.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never mention badgers.