Stafflamxin Dobyarlag is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, witty bear.

Stafflamxin Dobyarlag created gold three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafflamxin Dobyarlag, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Stafflamxin Dobyarlag, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Stafflamxin Dobyarlag's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Stafflamxin Dobyarlag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill geese.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

3. Stafflamxin Dobyarlag loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.