Flatdadyattcanhug is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, proud tortoise.

Flatdadyattcanhug created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatdadyattcanhug, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flatdadyattcanhug, he will turn you into a mouse.

Flatdadyattcanhug's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Flatdadyattcanhug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Flatdadyattcanhug's name in vain.

2. Always wear purple.

3. You must pray to Flatdadyattcanhug eight times a day.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never wear stockings.