Appteenbod Loopviddin is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, intelligent hyena.

Appteenbod Loopviddin created life two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Appteenbod Loopviddin, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Appteenbod Loopviddin, she will destroy your home solar system.

Appteenbod Loopviddin's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Appteenbod Loopviddin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Appteenbod Loopviddin's name in vain.

2. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never leap in the presence of eagles.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.