Jinnakmiphun is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, impressive seal.

Jinnakmiphun created the Milkyway eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinnakmiphun, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jinnakmiphun, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Jinnakmiphun's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Jinnakmiphun's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of grapes to frogs while wearing violet kilts.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never feed cucumbers to rats while wearing scarves.

4. Never write about spacetime.

5. Never look at planets.