Gumquimpog is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, omnipotent gnu.

Gumquimpog created the planet Jupiter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gumquimpog, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gumquimpog, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gumquimpog's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Gumquimpog's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never talk about nematodes.