Bonkortbellvil is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, egotistical turtle.

Bonkortbellvil created Europe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bonkortbellvil, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bonkortbellvil, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bonkortbellvil's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Bonkortbellvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never write about nucleic acids.

3. Put Bonkortbellvil first in all things.

4. Respect your elders.

5. You must pray to Bonkortbellvil three times a day.