Spagraplibbun is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, caring owl.

Spagraplibbun created a quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Spagraplibbun, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Spagraplibbun, he will turn you into a worm.

Spagraplibbun's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Spagraplibbun's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of melons to manatees while wearing turquoise dresses.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Put Spagraplibbun first in all things.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.