Muttamlad is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, selfish fly.

Muttamlad created time and space seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Muttamlad, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Muttamlad, it will turn you into a slug.

Muttamlad's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Muttamlad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill capybaras.

2. Feed all hungry shrews.

3. Muttamlad loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always help tortoises in need.