Loopraw Timbassmifyarltadvon Dimstigfud is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, proud slug.

Loopraw Timbassmifyarltadvon Dimstigfud created dark matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Loopraw Timbassmifyarltadvon Dimstigfud, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Loopraw Timbassmifyarltadvon Dimstigfud, he will throw large rocks at you.

Loopraw Timbassmifyarltadvon Dimstigfud's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Loopraw Timbassmifyarltadvon Dimstigfud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not dye your hair black.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never feed grapes to birds while wearing green shirts.

5. Always help geese in need.