Vanlatbud is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, selfish zebra.

Vanlatbud created tapeworms four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanlatbud, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vanlatbud, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Vanlatbud's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Vanlatbud's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about dark matter.

3. Hide from purple otters for they are unholy.

4. Never wear cyan trousers.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.