Absandbarn Cibbenlik is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, wise dove.

Absandbarn Cibbenlik created water three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Absandbarn Cibbenlik, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Absandbarn Cibbenlik, it will come to you in dreams.

Absandbarn Cibbenlik's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Absandbarn Cibbenlik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near otters while wearing brown tights and balancing nine carbon spheres on your chest.

2. You must pray to Absandbarn Cibbenlik eight times a day.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never write about enzymes.

5. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.