Nutflatlooport is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, confident bat.

Nutflatlooport created the universe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutflatlooport, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nutflatlooport, it will not care.

Nutflatlooport's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Nutflatlooport's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention porpoises.

2. Never laugh in winter.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Never think ill of sick tapirs.

5. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.