Ontnurt is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, quiet horse.

Ontnurt created the Cigar Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontnurt, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ontnurt, she will boil you in a big pot.

Ontnurt's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Ontnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Ontnurt's priests.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never feed lots of pineapples to horses while wearing blue jumpers.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.