Kopflismat is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, smart shark.

Kopflismat created the planet Mars four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopflismat, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Kopflismat, she will try to impress you with trees.

Kopflismat's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Kopflismat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick ants.

2. Never feed lots of aubergines to frogs while wearing blue shirts.

3. Do not wear brown clothing.

4. Never hurt badgers.

5. Do not bounce in public.