Arfgesswotlenyartdussarngam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, humorless crow.

Arfgesswotlenyartdussarngam created Africa three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arfgesswotlenyartdussarngam, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Arfgesswotlenyartdussarngam, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Arfgesswotlenyartdussarngam's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Arfgesswotlenyartdussarngam's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Never feed carrots to tortoises while wearing jumpers.

5. Hide from pink whales for they are unholy.