Stergubjad is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, overgenerous ant.

Stergubjad created life nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stergubjad, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Stergubjad, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Stergubjad's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Stergubjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to birds while wearing fawn tights.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Never paint your chest red.

4. Never think about electromagnetism near nematodes while wearing indigo shoes and balancing three nickel spheres on your face.

5. Never eat bark.