Cudzigbutben is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, charitable swan.

Cudzigbutben created matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cudzigbutben, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cudzigbutben, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Cudzigbutben's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Cudzigbutben's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Always act with humility.

3. Never sprint in summer.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near tapirs while wearing blue rings and balancing nine zinc spheres on your arms.

5. Never gather eight shrews in one place.