Ranfotdud is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, happy seal.

Ranfotdud created Africa eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ranfotdud, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ranfotdud, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Ranfotdud's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Ranfotdud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never paint your legs yellow.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always help hamsters.