Venfutgum Stipmatjap is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unsympathetic hippopotamus.

Venfutgum Stipmatjap created the planet Jupiter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Venfutgum Stipmatjap, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Venfutgum Stipmatjap, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Venfutgum Stipmatjap's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Venfutgum Stipmatjap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never write about fluid mechanics.

3. Run away if four aardvarks approach from the south.

4. Never talk about foxes.

5. Always help grasshopers.