Tikappfub is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, able dragon.

Tikappfub created a quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Tikappfub, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tikappfub, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Tikappfub's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Tikappfub's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight capybaras approach from the west.

2. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Erect a giant black sculpture of Tikappfub in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never skip in the presence of elders.

5. Never hop near snails.