Tonbepsisarm is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, flying guinea pig.

Tonbepsisarm created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonbepsisarm, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tonbepsisarm, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tonbepsisarm's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Tonbepsisarm's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never talk about nucleic acids.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Hide if four geese approach from the west.