Fadcintif is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, dishonourable dragon.

Fadcintif created matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fadcintif, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fadcintif, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fadcintif's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Fadcintif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep nine eagles in a large pit.

2. Always help gulls.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics near nematodes while wearing brown hats and balancing seven silver spheres on your feet.
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