Kamstersaw is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, irritating armadillo.

Kamstersaw created a charm quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kamstersaw, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kamstersaw, he will boil you in a big pot.

Kamstersaw's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Kamstersaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study cell theory on holy days.

2. Never wear shorts.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always act with patience.

5. Always cleanse ash with water.