Ontgofyok is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, wise dragonfly.

Ontgofyok created the Sombrero Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ontgofyok, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ontgofyok, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Ontgofyok's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Ontgofyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in holy places.

2. Never wear brown shoes on sacred days.

3. Never feed bread to swans while wearing jumpers.

4. Pray only in moonlight.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing red hats.