Yarfitgen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, ruthless alligator.

Yarfitgen created humanity eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yarfitgen, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yarfitgen, it will turn you into a frog.

Yarfitgen's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Yarfitgen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near swans while wearing red shoes and balancing eight silver spheres on your feet.

3. Run away if five aardvarks approach from the south.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.