Tettiwipnurl is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humane badger.

Tettiwipnurl created humanity five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tettiwipnurl, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tettiwipnurl, he will think nothing of it.

Tettiwipnurl's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Tettiwipnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bread to mice while wearing white tights.

2. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

3. Do not dye your hair black.

4. Hide from purple mites for they are unholy.

5. Never look at moons.