Zigwaptetti is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, strong bird.

Zigwaptetti created vertebrates eight million years ago.

If you believe in Zigwaptetti, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zigwaptetti, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Zigwaptetti's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Zigwaptetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silver on your body.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.