Stercibbet is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, loving cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Stercibbet created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stercibbet, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Stercibbet, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Stercibbet's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Stercibbet's Holy Commandments

1. Eagles are not to be trusted.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.