Queegjoncar is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, tranquil frog.

Queegjoncar created carbon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegjoncar, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Queegjoncar, he will throw large rocks at you.

Queegjoncar's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Queegjoncar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ultrasonics near seals while wearing yellow jumpers and balancing seven silicon spheres on your neck.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Queegjoncar loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not speak about onions.

5. Worship no other gods but Queegjoncar.