Wodfidren is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, awe-inspiring cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Wodfidren created a strange quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wodfidren, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Wodfidren, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Wodfidren's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Wodfidren's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never feed beans to monkeys while wearing blue skirts.