Belljinflamhap is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, humorless bat.

Belljinflamhap created Mount Everest five billion years ago.

If you believe in Belljinflamhap, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Belljinflamhap, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Belljinflamhap's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Belljinflamhap's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat figs.

2. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

3. Do not speak about gooseberries.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.