Sisdunkem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, moody elephant.

Sisdunkem created Mount Everest six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sisdunkem, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sisdunkem, she will send you a sign.

Sisdunkem's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Sisdunkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of gooseberries to bats while wearing purple dresses.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Sisdunkem.

3. Always look after injured pigs.

4. Never sit in the presence of ducks.

5. Hide if three whales approach from the north.