Gil is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, almighty narwhal.

Gil created the planet Saturn eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gil, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gil, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Gil's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Gil's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dolphins.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never feed figs to badgers while wearing boots.

5. Do not eat turnips.