Tettirilsis is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, strong aardvark.

Tettirilsis created viruses five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettirilsis, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tettirilsis, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tettirilsis' most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Tettirilsis' Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never sprint near gulls.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.