Fasxemrip is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, all-powerful giraffe.

Fasxemrip created the Tadpole Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fasxemrip, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Fasxemrip, he will turn you into a mouse.

Fasxemrip's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Fasxemrip's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

2. Never feed lots of cucumbers to snakes while wearing yellow shoes.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Run away if eight monkeys approach from the east.

5. Always look after injured manatees.