Tifjoplist is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, cheerful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tifjoplist created energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tifjoplist, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tifjoplist, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Tifjoplist's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Tifjoplist's Holy Commandments

1. Put Tifjoplist first in all things.

2. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never write about enzymes.

5. Do not make images of living things.