Nartnurlarp is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, effective jaguar.

Nartnurlarp created the Sun five million years ago.

If you believe in Nartnurlarp, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nartnurlarp, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Nartnurlarp's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Nartnurlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Worship no other gods but Nartnurlarp.

4. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.