Bassbedfet is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, witless pigeon.

Bassbedfet created time and space five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bassbedfet, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bassbedfet, she will turn you into a worm.

Bassbedfet's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Bassbedfet's Holy Commandments

1. Bassbedfet must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never talk about shrews.

5. Always help porpoises.