Mat Zagdogwot is a god.

He takes the form of a small, omnipotent snail.

Mat Zagdogwot created dark matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Mat Zagdogwot, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Mat Zagdogwot, he will torture you forever.

Mat Zagdogwot's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Mat Zagdogwot's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

3. Never think about eukaryotes.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never eat green fruit.