Saskemrap is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, all-powerful fish.

Saskemrap created life eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Saskemrap, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Saskemrap, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Saskemrap's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Saskemrap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat peas.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not speak about tomatoes.

4. Never hurt monkeys.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.