Quilltargjip Bestjiphug is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, contented deer.

Quilltargjip Bestjiphug created the Small Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quilltargjip Bestjiphug, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Quilltargjip Bestjiphug, he will not invite you to parties.

Quilltargjip Bestjiphug's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Quilltargjip Bestjiphug's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Do not wear pink clothing.

3. You must never eat bananas.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Quilltargjip Bestjiphug on top of all buildings.