Limmetstig is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, temperamental cow.

Limmetstig created the Whirlpool Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Limmetstig, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Limmetstig, he will send minions to preach to you.

Limmetstig's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Limmetstig's Holy Commandments

1. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Limmetstig in the centre of the settlement.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not leap in public.