Pongab is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witless mouse.

Pongab created dark matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pongab, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pongab, it will turn you into a goat.

Pongab's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Pongab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always share figs with strangers, but never with gulls.

3. Pongab loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

4. Always wear plain boots during rituals.

5. Do not resist chaos.