Monabquillpommatgebgub Lunyokvon Gemfobsislin is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, smart guinea pig.

Monabquillpommatgebgub Lunyokvon Gemfobsislin created a Higgs boson nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monabquillpommatgebgub Lunyokvon Gemfobsislin, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Monabquillpommatgebgub Lunyokvon Gemfobsislin, he will turn you into a dog.

Monabquillpommatgebgub Lunyokvon Gemfobsislin's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Monabquillpommatgebgub Lunyokvon Gemfobsislin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat apples.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism.

3. Monabquillpommatgebgub Lunyokvon Gemfobsislin loves mites, so they must be respected.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not wear pink clothing.