Bassmifdag is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, flying unicorn.

Bassmifdag created Africa four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bassmifdag, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bassmifdag, it will turn you into a mouse.

Bassmifdag's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Bassmifdag's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Hide from pink pigs for they are unholy.

3. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

4. Bassmifdag loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

5. Never mention goats.