Gofjonpak is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, unsympathetic centaur.

Gofjonpak created humanity twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gofjonpak, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Gofjonpak, it will turn you into a dog.

Gofjonpak's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Gofjonpak's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three ants approach from the north.

2. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.