Bemcissat Flamdamwap is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, bad-tempered penguin.

Bemcissat Flamdamwap created time and space three million years ago.

If you believe in Bemcissat Flamdamwap, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bemcissat Flamdamwap, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bemcissat Flamdamwap's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Bemcissat Flamdamwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not keep eight capybaras in a large pit.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not eat peas.

5. Never talk about gravity.